he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
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