so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Everclear isn't food dammit
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
