shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
