Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
