Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Randomize
