conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Randomize
