Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
She needs sedatives and a leash
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
