I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
