Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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