Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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