This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
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