I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I will pee on everything he values.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
