Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
