NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Randomize
