I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
