No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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