dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
