Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
