I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
