We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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