STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
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