I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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