it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
