Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Randomize
