Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
you will always have a special place in my vag
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
