i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
