I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
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