I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
