Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
