oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize
