After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Randomize
