Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
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