this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Randomize
