her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
