scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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