Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
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