I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
