is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
