just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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