we're chasing vodka with high fives
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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