told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
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