Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize
