how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
