maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
