Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
