The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Randomize
