So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
