i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
