tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
