Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
