I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
