no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
I met the friendliest cop last night
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
