didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
